Those Rose Tinted Days
by Not Just a Nerd
Summary: Snapshots of the Doctor's life with Rose, segued by quotes that fit them. Set through seasons 1-4, so canon spoilers. Ten x Rose. Three-shot. Complete.
1. Her Doctor

**Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who or any of the quotes used here (in italics within quotes center aligned).**

* * *

 _"Once in a lifetime you meet someone who changes everything."_

She had feeling that she was going to have another amazing year.

Once they were back in the safety and comfort of the ever familiar TARDIS, with the new, new Doctor still holding her hand just as tightly, she wondered what her new, new life would be like with him.

"You're gonna love this place!" He said animatedly, like a little child eager to show off his latest drawing of a dragon, and finally let go of her to set the coordinates on the TARDIS. "Flying cars, laser sabers, talking robots. This is like being on the sets of Star Wars. Only much more cool."

She wasn't sure how she felt about that, truth be told. Knowing their almost magnetic attraction to trouble, she was willing to bet twenty quids on the fact that they would end up in a saber duel with a robot, and the Doctor might not be so lucky with his arm this time.

"Off we go then!" He said, and then he looked up.

He was beaming at her, his smile rendering his face a brilliant shade of green under the light of the console room, and his eyes shone with something that could be best described as the deepest form of affection, as if he was looking at his favorite thing in the Universe, which he was. She never thought he could smile like that, not after everything he had been through and everything he had lost.

Suddenly, she didn't mind a duel. She didn't mind ten thousand duels if that could make him smile that way. But it wasn't a duel, was it? It was her.

" _He looked at me that first day_

 _like he had just found something he'd lost a thousand years ago."_

They were back on Earth, Powell Estate, seven days after travelling with the Doctor, during which they had visited the New Earth, and she was "possessed" by a certain bitchy trampoline named Cassandra.

"You watch too many horror movies", he had told her when she had first used that word, and she had hit back with a "Life with you is a horror show, so shut up."

"Oh, but you love it", he had teased, and she had countered that with a "I never said I don't!" And then there she was. In the kitchen with her mum. He had finished his tea and ran away, leaving her to fill her mum in about what they had been up to.

"This is getting too dangerous!" Jackie exclaimed, concern clouding her face, as she heard what she knew was the censored version of the latest adventure that her daughter had been on. "Are you sure you can trust him with your life? You've known this skinny sod for what, seven days?"

"Mum", she was getting tired of this, and it showed in her voice. "I _know_ him." And really, she did. She was the only one in the universe- well, only one alive at least, who knew him as well as she did. Regeneration had changed him, but not the unspoken bond they shared. "I trust him."

There was so much faith poured into those simple words that Jackie knew it would be useless to argue. And honestly, she was finding herself start to believe that too of late.

" _Seven years would be insufficient to make some people acquainted with each other,_

 _and seven days are more than enough for others_."

"I don't understand why you do that." Rose mused, a frown distorting her face. One day, she was pretty sure, he was going to do this and she was going to throw up. Hopefully all over him and his- _their_ \- favorite coat. _That_ would teach him.

"What do you mean?" The Doctor asked, licking his finger and tasting the brownish semi-liquid again, his face giving way to a frown too at the horrible bitter taste. "You _know_ I'm trying to figure out what this thing is!"

"By eating it?" She exclaimed in disbelief. Yeah, he had superior Time Lord physiology and all that, but Superman always has a Kryptonite, doesn't he? "Can't you just use the sonic screwdriver?"

His face fell, like he was being chastised, which he sort of was. "Yes."

"So why don't you?" She asked, her temper rising now. Would it kill him to not try to get himself killed? If he died on her, she was going to kill him again with her own bare hands, that's what he had coming.

He smiled at her from ear to ear. "Because this is more fun!" And with that his fingers were back in the unknown substance.

She muttered something under her breathe, something that sounded suspiciously like "nine hundred years old my arse. Still acts like he's two." But the glint in her eyes betrayed her amusement- there wasn't a single cell in his body that she wanted to change.

" _I have always loved everything about you._

 _Even what I didn't understand."_

They didn't plan on running across her aunt, but there they were. Jackie Tyler's sister, now _that's_ a monster straight out of his nightmares.

"I've been travelling with the Doctor", Rose said, in answer to some question that he missed.

And then she glared at him. _Play along, play nice._ The last of the time lords, the oncoming storm who intimidated the daleks and the cybermen, and here one glare from Rose Tyler was setting him on his best behaviour. "Hi!" He smiled at her aunt, deciding for once to shut up and let her do the talking.

And really, that was all that she wanted. She didn't expect or even want a polite chit-chat over tea or weekend family trips. That wasn't him. That was domestics. And she wouldn't have him any other way than the daft old alien that he was.

But she wanted her family to meet him never-the-less. She wanted to show him off, wanted him to know that she wasn't ashamed of letting the world see her with him, daft and annoying as he was.

" _I want everyone to meet you._

 _You're my favorite person of all time_."

The view was breath-taking. He had taken her to watch the sunset at one of those deserted planets across the galaxies where nobody lived. He held her hand and beamed at her, and she grinned back, resting her head on his shoulder. The sky was such different shades of red, yellow and pink that she wasn't even sure if there were names for those colors. The land was brown, barren of any water bodies or vegetation, but the way it looked under the lights of the sunset was beyond what her words could describe.

And then there was him, rambling about suns and stars and colors. He was definitely the highlight of the evening.

 _"I see you in colors that don't exist."_

"Rose?" She froze when she heard that familiar voice, that too after so many years. _Nonononono_. Shell shocked, her body refused to let her turn around.

"Hello!" The Doctor greeted cheerfully, hoping this friend of Rose wasn't another idiot, though he certainly looked the part, with the ripped jeans and that stupid shirt. "I'm the Doctor, and you are?"

"Jimmy Stone", he mumbled, and the Doctor froze too. _That_ Jimmy Stone? The one who broke his Rose's heart and nearly wrecked her life? He wasn't a man for violence, but blimey, did he want to use his fighting hand!

Rose knew that was his instinct, and she took his hand in hers to stop him. He squeezed it tightly, letting her know that he was there, and she wasn't alone. She smiled, so grateful to have him in her life, and finally managed to turn around and face the biggest mistake of her life.

And he went for Plan B. "Nice to meet you, Jim. Rose never mentioned you. You two went to school together?"

Rose quirked an eyebrow at him, wondering what he was playing at.

"We were... um, together." Jimmy replied, studying the Doctor in amusement, his gaze soon dropping to where their fingers were intertwined. "Aren't you a little too old for her?"

The Doctor chuckled. If only he knew how old he _really_ was.

Rose was about to set him straight that they weren't together before that alien git could panic and run away, but the Doctor spoke first. "Oh yes. Old, skinny, rude, and extremely, _extremely_ brilliant. Would you like me to recite your primitive little periodic table in 30 seconds? Or is that something you never even heard of? What is it that you do again?"

"I-I,um", Jimmy stammered, not expecting the tables turning on him.

Being rude and not ginger was definitely turning out to be very good indeed. "I travel. All around the world. Places people only dream of. With Rose by my side. It's brilliant, my life. Wouldn't you agree, honey?" He looked at Rose, waiting for her to affirm.

"Yeah", she managed to say despite her shock.

"Anyways, it was great to see you. We'd be on our way now. Come on, love." With that, he gave her hand a tug and they were walking again.

Her confusion was written all over her face. Her feet stopped moving at one point when they were at a safe distance. "What was that about?"

The Doctor simply shrugged, like it was no big deal. "It was either that, or throwing him in the eye of a collapsing star. Nasty, that one. I figured he wasn't worth so much of trouble, don't you agree?"

"You called me love", she wasn't sure if she was talking to him or herself. "And honey."

"Yes? Would you have preferred the Gallifreyian terms of endearment instead?"

She simply shook her head. He really was impossible.

And then he was suddenly pulling her close to him and looking at her face.

Her heart started beating so fast in her chest, it felt like the core of a terraform sphere that was expanding inside her. Oh, blimey, was he going to tell her how he felt about her? _Now_? Didn't he know that she knew?

"Are you alright?" He asked instead.

"'m fine", she said, beaming up at him. And how could she not be? When she was with him? Whatever had happened in her past didn't matter anymore. He was her present, her future, everything she could ever dream of, and everything else paled in comparison to him.

" _You are too much of everything I dared to imagine_."

"So, spill." Shareen said, as soon as they were alone in her room, having finally managed to get rid of a hovering Jackie.

Rose looked up from the pink suitcase that she was packing her change of clothes into. "What?"

"This new bloke, that's what." She replied with a knowing grin.

Rose shook her head, like she had done a thousand times before in dozens of planets for hundreds of people. "He's just a friend. We're just travelling."

"Riiight", Shareen smirked, not buying it at all. "So, has he proposed yet? Does he have a car? Ooo, is he a good shag? Tell me all about it!"

"Shareen!", Rose exclaimed in horror, a rosy blush creeping up her cheeks at the thought of the Doctor's fingers and lips on her skin as she ran her hand through his hair and-

"Are you happy?" Shareen asked, sincerely, snapping her out of her daydreams.

Rose blinked, grounded herself back to reality, and didn't miss a single beat in answering. "Yes."

 _"It is love?" Asked her friend._

 _She said, "I don't know. But- nothing felt better."_

"I'm always alright." He repeated again when she asked him the same question for the n-th time. Were they caught in some kind of time loop?

She had let it slide, left it at that, let him mourn alone for the past one hour. But she could no longer bear the sight of him looking so heavy with yet another loss. "You don't have to be." She said softly.

He tried to lighten the mood, bouncing around the console room, attempting to grin. "Oh, but I do. Who's gonna look after you if I sit around sulking?"

"Oi!" She said, playing along for the moment. "'m the babysitter here."

He didn't reply, standing still in the room all of a sudden, his expression unreadable. Which was such a rare thing that it scared her. "I'm sorry I left you."

Rose closed her eyes and took a deep breath. This... This wasn't about her. "I'm sorry you had to leave her."

To say he was utterly confused was an understatement. Sure, he had been swept off his feet by Reinette, sure he wanted to take her on a trip or two to the stars before he returned her to her rightful place in history, but that was it. He was a Time Lord, and he was all too used to loss. She had led a full life, a remarkable one at that, and had died naturally. That was all. But Rose? He could have lost her that very day because of his recklessness. He shuddered at that thought. How would he have forgiven himself if he did? How could _she_ forgive him? "You're not mad at me?"

Her eyes softened. "Why should I be?"

He opened his mouth to state all the reasons, but she held up a finger to silence him, letting him know that she wasn't finished. "You've always been there for me, for the planet, for everyone. You saved her. Yeah, things got a bit risky here. I can't say you're only human, you'll make mistakes, cause you're not", she tried to laugh, but couldn't, the seriousness of the whole thing not lost on her, "But, Doctor, it's okay, really. Everyone makes mistakes. Back on earth it's leaving the gas on or forgetting you have your kid with you at the mall-"

"Jackie did that to you?" He had to ask.

This time, she did laugh, "Yeah, I was five. But the point is, you're a Time Lord, we travel. With you danger is clockwork droids and eighteenth century France. It's okay, I get it. I'm not mad. This doesn't undo all the wonderful things you've done for me."

The Doctor stared at her in wonder. There he was, dashing off through a mirror on a horse without thinking it through, and here she was, _justifying_ his actions, instead of being angry or upset or simple shaken by the events. She always did know all the right things to say. She was wise beyond her years, and he was so proud of her.

And so ashamed of himself. He didn't deserve her, never did, never will. Even with all of time and space at his disposal, he honestly didn't think anything or anyone was worth her, really.

"I know", she said, causing him to snap out of his reverie and look up at her, "That if you didn't find a way back, you would have taken the slow path. Stayed in France, got to 2005, intercepted time streams or whatever and found a way to save me." Her absolute conviction in him shone through her words and her eyes. How could she have unshakeable faith in him even after everything? "So now then, let's try again. Are you alright?"

He wrapped her up in his arms before she could take a breath. Her scent infiltrated his nose- sweat and vanilla and... Rose. _His_ Rose. Safe. The Doctor and his Rose, in the TARDIS, as it should be. "I am now."

" _A person isn't who they are during the last conversation you had with them-_

 _they're who they've been throughout your whole relationship."_

It had been another day of misadventure. She had told him how she had grown up wanting to meet a fairy godmother after reading Cinderella too many times, and he had taken her to "just the perfect place"- in his own words- the planet of The Legion of Winged Creatures. Of course he had got the century wrong and the species had been hostile and they had spent a good part of an hour running for their lives. Any other girl would have complained and picked up a gun by now, but not her, not his Rose. She took it all with a smiling face. Though the latest event did shake her visibly. He could see how vulnerable she felt when he walked her to her room to say goodnight. She lazily shrugged off her jacket and trousers and jumped into her bed, not bothering to fully undress, and slid under her cozy duvet. Her eyes never left his, as if silently pleading him to not leave her side.

"Do you want me to stay?" He asked softly, feeling the need to do so more to reassure himself than her. "You know, I can stand near the door and make sure no more blood thirsty butterflies can get to you. Good thing that, guarding. Can I?"

He could see the turmoil visualize on her face. "No." She said after a moment.

The hurt flashing through him killed his eloquence. "Oh." Had he misjudged what she wanted? Had he crossed a line?

She scooted over in her bed and patted the empty spot next to her. "Stay _here_."

Confusion took hold of him, before a look of understanding came across his face. " _Oh_." He said again, the pain of rejection gone from his voice, and now replaced with a strange mix of uncertainty and excitement. He took off his trainers and simply sat down next to her on her bed.

"You sure you won't sleep?" She mumbled into her pillow, closing her eyes, finally knowing that she was safe.

He relaxed then, settling into their familiar territory. "Nyah. Such a waste of valuable time. Did you know-"

"-Shh!" she scolded, an arm jerking about randomly to smack him wherever it landed. "No babbling, I'm trying to sleep!"

"Sorry", he mumbled, smiling at the clumsy ungraceful sleeping form of his favourite pink and yellow human. She looked so beautiful, he couldn't help it. "Do you mind if I..." He hooked his fingers in her hair, and caressed it tenderly. "Is that alright?"

Even as the day's exhaustion caught up with her, the prominent feeling in her chest was that of happiness, and a little bit of self-appraisal at having gathered up the courage to get to this point. "Yeah."

" _Tell him yes, even if you're dying of fear,_

 _even if you are sorry later, because whatever you do,_

 _you will be sorry all the rest of your life if you say no."_

It was a wonder to her how they had gotten into the habit of him staying in her room till she fell asleep. Never in her life had she felt the presence of someone so comforting- not even Mr. BeanieBoogie, her fluffy pink teddy bear. The Doctor usually left some time after she fell asleep, she guessed, but that particular day, she was pleasantly surprised to wake up and find him lying there on her bed, on his back, with his eyes closed. She tried not to let herself get too happy at the fact that he had stayed.

"You're staring." He suddenly mumbled, not bothering to open his eyes.

She felt like a little child caught with her hand down the cookie jar. "Sorry." Her voice came out sheepish.

"No, no, quite right to", he let out a contented chuckle. "I wasn't complaining, just stating the facts."

She grinned, tongue poking her teeth as her finger poked him in the chest. "You mean stating the _obvious_?"

"Was it obvious to you that it's obvious to me that you're staring?"

She rolled her eyes, deciding it's way too early in the morning to start arguing with him. "Go back to pretend-napping."

He let out a gasp of disapproval. "It's not pretend-napping! I am thinking up ways to make your banana pancakes better. Not that anything is wrong with them. Or with your cooking. Why would I even imply something is wrong with you? What is wrong with me?"

Nothing, absolutely nothing. She loved how he went on tangents all the time, rambling about silly things. "You want the long list or the short one?"

He arched an eyebrow up. "There's a list now, is there?"

She hummed in agreement. "Ummm hmm."

The pout he made could melt her heart any day. "I see why the TARDIS likes you. Anyways, maybe I should..." He trailed off, trying to sit up.

"No!" She panicked, wrapping an arm around him to keep him down. He tensed, and she tensed sensing that, but then he relaxed and tilted his head towards hers, and he _stayed_. And really, words were so overrated.

" _But she might hold him. That was all that mattered now._

 _To hold him. To hold him. Not to let him go._

 _Make him stay_."

She wasn't a fan of sleeping at her mum's flat, but she had been emotionally blackmailed into doing just that. Her mother had insisted, complaining about how she never got to see her daughter for more than a few hours anymore. She had even offered the Doctor a place on the sofa, but he told her he never slept and declined.

Which meant she was alone in her room, with her mum sleeping next door, snoring. She stared at the ceiling, at the glow in the dark stickers she had stuck there when she was a kid, a wave of nostalgia hitting her at the memories. This was her home, her room, her world. And yet... She missed her room in the TARDIS, how the constant hum of the ship lulled her to sleep, and how _he_ stayed with her till her dreams wrapped her in its cocoon.

Oh God, she missed him so much. It had only been an hour or two since she had last seen him, and she knew he was in the TARDIS, which was still parked in the alley, fixing something or the other that probably didn't even need fixing. A smile crept on her face at that thought. She was pretty sure he was the worst designated driver of all of space and time.

And here she was, at home, and homesick already. All she could think about was him, him, him. Her heart ached to be near him, to see him, to hold his hand and hug him tight, to hear him babble about everything and nothing. Schoolgirl with a crush, definitely.

She rolled her eyes at herself, remembering how she used to sneak out at nights during her school years, party with Keisha at some wild rave, and then sneak back inside her room before her mum woke up. If only she could just- oh wait.

" _I could start fires with what I feel for you_."

"You're back quickly from your mum's?" He wasn't sure if that was intended to be a statement or a question, but he wasn't sure what she was doing there earlier than usual either. "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, yeah", she waved him off, placing the bag with her change of clothes on the TARDIS floor. He can carry that for her. "I just feel better sleeping in here, is all. I think I'll take a nap now. You coming?"

He studied her for a moment, watching out for any signs of danger or illness or distress, but when he found none, he grinned like a maniac, taking her hand in his. How could something so simple, so _human_ mean like the world to him? "Allonsy!"

 _"I came here tonight because_

 _when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody,_

 _you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."_

They had just ran for their lives, being chased by preying mantis that thought they would make a great prey, and ended up in the TARDIS, when Rose suddenly held out a small key in her hand. Talk about non-sequitur. Seeing the blank expression on his face, she explained. "This is a key. To my flat." She punctuated the sentence with steady breaths to make sure she didn't lose her nerve and back out.

Panic took hold of every single cell in his body, and he wondered if he might just regenerate from the fear of what was happening. "What? Wha- are you leaving? Did I do something wrong? Was it the dung-beetle tea? It was that, wasn't it? I should have know the preying mantis would-"

"Doctor?", she cut him off, amused at his reasoning. Of all the things she could have left him for, he thought _that_ would be the one? "I told you I'm not leaving." She told him firmly.

He relaxed, but he was still confused. "Oh. So what do I need a key for?"

She shrugged. "You know, in case you want to drop by when I'm there, I reckon."

His eyebrows narrowed together in further confusion, and he wondered if she had inhaled some alien compound that was making her make no sense. "But I can just ring the bell?"

"You don't have to." She said softly. "Nobody does that at home, you daft alien."

"Home?" Now she had lost him. "You mean your home? I thought you thought of the TARDIS as your home too?"

Rose rolled her eyes. "It's a ship, not a home!" The TARDIS hummed in protest, and she rolled her eyes again at her too. Like Time Lord, like his time machine. "I'm talking of a home for you too, you know? A London alley-way doesn't count as one, no matter what he tells you." She said, touching the wall lightly. "I'm talking of a proper space to stay. A planet. A home. I know you're never gonna do domestics, I don't want you to either, and I know nothing can replace..." She didn't, couldn't complete her sentence, instead forcing herself to stay chirpy, for his sake, "but if you and the old girl need to take a nap when you're knackered-"

He gasped. "I'm never knackered!"

She ignored him and continued. "-Then that's the place to be. That's home. What's mine is yours."

He stared at her. He stared at her and the words of his previous incarnation rang through his head again and again. _I'm so glad I met you_. Here was this nineteen year old teen who was offering him... home. Tears began to prick his eyes, and his face burst into a genuine smile. "Well, in that case, Rose Tyler, can I-"

"-No." She cut him off before he could even finish, knowing full well what he was going to say. "I told you before! You can't use my shampoo. Get your own!"

He pouted. "But you just said-" He paused mid sentence, realizing he still hadn't taken the key, and when he did, he didn't let go of her hand. He never wanted to.

" _The way to love someone is to lightly run your finger over that person's soul_

 _until you find a crack,_

 _and then gently pour your love into that crack._ "

"Soooo..." The Doctor paused, staring at Rose with his mouth half open expectantly, his eyes transfixed on the stray strand of hair falling on her cheekbones. Had he ever told her that she was brilliant?

"So?" Rose mimicked, rolling her eyes. Standing in the street outside Shareen's flat, she waited impatiently for the doctor to get his point across, so that she could just crawl into the sofa in her jim-jams and watch an X-files marathon with her best friend. Well, her _human_ best friend.

"You're really gonna stay here then?" He asked, his mind already drifting off to all the planets in all the different eras that they could have been visiting instead. Blimey, domestics, stupid, that's what it was. "Till your mum comes back from her date?"

Rose shrugged. "I s'pose so. I mean, I need to be there for her, in case things go wrong."

"Well, knowing Jackie..." He ran a hand through his hair and trailed off, not willing to complete the sentence, knowing full well that Rose knew what he meant.

"Oi!" She protested, shooting him with a glare. But she had to allow herself a chuckle, she knew he was right. Her mum was never good with dates.

He decided to change the topic. "Valentine's day wasted on earth watching telly with your friend. Come on, Rose! We can-"

"-No." She said firmly, not letting him complete that sentence. She had lately got used to knowing what he was going to say. "We're not taking a ride in the TARDIS, you'll land us in the wrong date again. I'm staying right here."

He pouted, not willing to risk that himself. "At least we can do something interesting while we're here. _Come on_ , Rose!" His voice bordered on whining, a tone that usually melted her heart. Usually, not this time, he wouldn't. "Just because we don't have dates, doesn't mean we need to sulk. Let's take a tour of the town, have some chips, maybe banana pancakes for me, shall we?"

A smile lit up her face, her tongue caressing her teeth, as she suddenly felt giddy inside. "Yeah, I'd like that."

" _It was probably nothing, but it felt like the world_."

There was no shame in admitting that she was upset with the way things went with her alternate universe parents. There was no need to admit it out loud though. As daft and clueless as he was at picking up social cues, the Doctor could tell when Rose was upset, just by looking at her- the spark missing from her eyes, her lips lacking that soothing smile, and her shoulder drooping like it was trying to drag her down to the ground. When Rose Tyler was upset, the most oblivious bloke in the universe just _knew_.

And he knew simple ice-cream and chips wasn't going to do the job, not this time. She needed to see the woman who was committed to driving him insane, needed to know she was alright and she loved her. So he had taken her home, and she had yanked him up with her to her flat, grateful that he didn't protest and beg her to let him leave after tea like he usually did. She needed him there with her too, she needed to know that he was alright and he was with her. She needed his hand in hers to know that everything was going to be just fine.

 _"_ _Gather me when I fall apart_ _."_

"Y'know, when I'm old and withering, I can't run like this." Rose stated, panting in the console room of the TARDIS. They had just escaped with their lives again, and she still couldn't stop laughing.

"Rubbish!" He wagged his index finger at her playfully. "You are an _excellent_ runner, Rose Tyler. I'll have you know you can win the one-meter marathon at Videroudium planet."

"Human here, hello?" She said, smiling. "Bet you ten quids I'd get arthritis when I'm old. You've seen mum."

He vaguely recalled Jackie complaining about her legs, and shrugged. "I'll sonic it away."

"Hold on." Realization dawned on her then. "Is that what you've been doing to mum? Is this the cure that she keeps hush-hush?"

He yanked at his right ear, looking down at the ground, like it was not a wonderful thing that he was doing for her mother but a very evil stint instead. "Wellll..."

So they were finally getting along? "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I guess it slipped my mind?" He offered her a lopsided grip.

"At what age do Time Lords get dementia, again?" She teased.

"I'll have you know that Time Lords don't get dementia." He frowned in mock offense, "Well, some do when they look at the time vortex, although it's not called dementia, it's a- but the point is, _I_ won't. Not now, not in sixty years. You'll see."

"Ten quids?"

"Twenty."

"You're on."

" _What was that thing that could make two people promise one another_

 _to spend every day of the rest of their lives together?_

 _Ah, I found it. It was a thing called love._

 _A small simple word_."

Damsel in distress wasn't one of the things that she particularly wanted to be, and he had assured her that they were more like Bonnie and Clyde. Yet, here they were. She had wandered off. Again. Against his hundred requests not to. And she had ended up captive. Again. In the home of... whatever.

"I never thought you like blindfolds." She heard a familiar voice whisper in her ears, and even with her eyes closed, she could just see the smug grin that she knew was on his face.

"You think about my kinks over breakfast then?" She shot back, wriggling her wrists in the handcuffs to get his attention to them instead of the ankles that he was focused on untying.

He clicked his tongue, a sound that was supposed to be annoying and not at all seductive like it sounded. She heard his sonic whirl, and soon she was free. She took off the blindfold and saw him grinning at her, arms open. She grinned back, hugging him tightly.

"Alright then", he mumbled into her hair, his lips ghosting her ear. "Beam us up, Scotty!"

She was kind of worried that the laughter erupting out of her lungs might have alerted whatever alien was around. But hey, they could always run!

" _Why should she be unhappy? She had a right to happiness._

 _He would take her in his arms, fold her in his arms._

 _He would save her_."

She saw the guilt written all over his face. "I couldn't help those Oods."

She ruffled his hair, and for once he didn't protest about how she was messing up his hair style to hide how he secretly loved this. "You will next time, I promise."

"So many deaths, Rose. There's always deaths around me." He almost shuddered as he whispered the words, and she could tell that he was thinking about the Time Wars again.

"You say there isn't a higher authority, it stops with you? Well, guess what, Doctor? There is one. Fate. There's nothing you and I can do about it. But we do save whom we can, isn't that enough for most days? You're brilliant, you know that right?" And she went for the age old clichéd line. "Even the moon has stains on its face."

"Welllll", he offered her a guilty grin. "Yeah, no, that was me. A run in with the Judoons a _long_ time back. They always take things to the moon. Judoon buffoon, upon the moon. They were going to execute everyone for harbouring a fugitive. Good thing I stopped them in time."

"See, right there?" She said, poking him lightly in the shoulder. "You _are_ brilliant."

" _Even at your worst, you are incredible_."

 **A/N: I hope you liked this :D Reviews make me a very happy pink and yellow human. :D :)**


	2. His Rose

_"It is good to find someone who will listen to your story and then help you write the rest of it."_

"Don't do that", she warned sternly the minute he had opened his mouth to say he was sorry. "It wasn't your fault."

He closed his eyes and inhaled sharply. He still couldn't shake off the image of Rose without a face from his mind. He was supposed to protect her, what if something had-

"You saved a lot of people", she said, taking his hand is hers. "And you saved me too, like you always do."

"You were-" he couldn't even bring himself to complete the sentence.

She gave his hands a squeeze. "And you were there for me. Listen to me, Doctor?"

He dragged his eyes from the floor to meet hers, somewhat relieved to see her face was still there.

"I know you'll always save me. I wasn't scared."

The way she believed in him so unconditionally, it made him almost believe in himself too.

 _"It's a very powerful thing when someone sees you as the person you wish you were."_

After ten full minutes of rinsing the fine polymerized hyperpolarized dress that he had bought her from NoiTenPal's market place, that too with his own bare hands- his fighting hand!- and not in a washing machine, he growled in exasperation. "Remind me again why I have to do this myself instead of letting the TARDIS take care of it? Time Lords don't do _laundry_ , Rose!"

Her eyes narrowed at him threateningly. " _You_ stained it. _You'll_ fix it. That's how it works. Maybe next time you'll think twice before you just grab one of my things and wipe your alien oils with it."

He arched an eye-brow in silent questioning.

"Oh, who am I kidding? You'll do it again!" She huffed, finally deciding to lend him a helping hand.

"Not my fault you scatter your things all over our ship!" He pointed out without wasting a breathe. Truth be told, he adored how Rose had claimed ownership of the ship, with her clothes strewn everywhere, despite the hazard of tripping over them and falling, which happened more often than he would like to admit. It was good to find a piece of her everywhere, all around him. That thought brought a huge smile to his face, and he bumped his shoulder with hers, the silly chore no longer annoying him, now that they were doing it together, just the way things were meant to be done.

"I wanna be the very best, that no one ever was. To catch them is my real test, to train them is my cause."

Rose gasped with laughter. "Oh my God, please tell me you're not singing the Pokémon theme?"

He shrugged, grin widening. He knew how much she loved it when he started humming random things at ridiculous moments.

And he loved how it would make her laugh. Rose Tyler, laughing. Brilliant thing, that.

 _"Everything I do with you feels like an adventure."_

He just knew it from the look on her face- something was on her mind, something was terribly wrong, and yet, she was trying to keep a brave front, trying to smile and keep him company.

He waited for her to speak, like she always did, but when she didn't, he had to ask. "What's wrong?"

She shook her head, offering him a small smile. "Nothing."

That wasn't going to fool him. How could she tell him that he could tell her anything, but not do it herself? Not. Fair. If he wasn't an old alien and all, he would have even stomped his feet for emphasis.

Seeing him still staring at her, she shook her head. "Really, Doctor, it's nothing important. It's silly."

"I love silly", he said honestly, flashing a grin in her direction, hoping the warmth in it could reach her heart.

She tentatively returned the grin, before she sighed. "I was just thinking about how I quit school. I was a good gymnast, had a shot at college, scholarship and all. Mum was so happy. 'Stead, I became just a shop girl. I'm nothing. I'm not a singer or dancer or-"

"-Don't let Cassandra get to you." He cut her off, not willing to let anyone speak of Rose that way, not even Rose herself. "You see the best in me. Can't you do the same for yourself?"

She shook her head no, not trusting her voice to stay steady anymore, and not wanting to let him see her so broken again.

He took a deep breathe. He could do for her what she did for him- show her how fantastic she really was.

"You, Rose Tyler, made a _Dalek_ want to feel _sunshine_." He beamed at her, still completely in awe of all the impossible things her simple touch could achieve. "You looked into the heart of the TARDIS to save me. And you saved me from myself, _so_ many times." His eyes shone with gratitude, and a new vigor for life, one which she had instilled in him, one which burnt in his core brighter than an Olympic torch. "You are kind and compassionate." He continued, hoping the sincerity in his voice could put her insecurities to rest. He took her hand in his, lacing their fingers together. "You, Rose Tyler, are brilliant."

 _"They'll tell you again and again, how imperfect you are. But soon enough, you'll see the way I look at you, and believe otherwise."_

Mamihlapinatapai. That was an actual word for wordless communications, for the volumes spoken by mere glances and gestures. He knew this word because he knew every word in every language- minus the brand new slangs that somehow kept on being added to the lingo in every century every time he visited it.

And also because he had first hand experience.

For instance, there was that time when he had wanted to try wrestling, but wasn't sure if this skinny body would be any good at it, and she had settled his doubts with just a smile- a smile that said "it's ok", one which unlocked doors inside his mind that he had forgotten long ago.

Of course when he had tried to throw a punch- or a kick, he wasn't really sure what he was trying to do- and ended up falling down on the floor, she had burst out laughing- the soft laughter in her eyes clearly telling him, "it's ok to quit now."

Words are really over-rated, after all. Some things just don't need saying out loud.

" _Your smile undid me but your laughter put me back together again._ "

"Might I remind you that your mother has threatened to kill me, and Sunday dinner made by _her_ is not a good enough reason to regenerate again, thank you very much?"

Her eyebrows twitched in irritation, but she didn't say a word, instead fumbling with his tie in an effort to untangle the messy knot that he had somehow managed to get it in during his absent-minded babbling on knots and a failed demonstration. She had to fight the temptation to strangle him, even for just a moment- he could tell this from the way her lips were pursed into a line as straight as the horizon in Pegasus Cascada.

"I can take you to Barcelona. Dogs with no noses?"

He knew the _accidental_ tug she gave his tie was totally intended to be a warning to just shut his big gob, but of course he would push his luck. "What about Midnight? It's beautiful, you'd love it. They have a nice little spa for relaxing, brilliant, that!"

She stepped on his feet then, which he would have loved, if not for the heels she was wearing that dug into his trainers painfully. He was tempted to tell her that if things went south and they had to run, as things usually did, these shoes would seriously fail her, but he didn't, because she knew that, already. And because the close proximity to her was doing things to him that only the fear of meeting Jackie Tyler in a short while was able to somewhat counter.

"How about ancient Rome? It's very scenic. You'd love it!"

She finally managed to untie the knots and tie his tie in a proper way. With that, they were all set, and she wriggled her fingers in the air, waiting for him to take her hand.

Oh, blimey! He never had a chance, did he?

" _My biggest weakness has always been and will always be your hand stretched out for mine."_

"If you could get a million dollars, what would you do with it?"

She had asked him one day in the middle of lunch during a rather uneventful visit to a market to pick up some parts for the TARDIS.

He studied her in amused wonder. "And here I thought we were past the 'ask random questions and get to know each other' phase."

She flashed him a tongue in teeth grin. "There's _so_ much about me that you don't know."

The way those words sounded anything but innocent to his no longer big ears had to be wrong, right?

"Bananas." That was his brain's response to inappropriate yet extremely welcome thoughts of Rose Tyler.

"What?" She asked, her face already lighting up with a smile.

He shrugged. "I would spend a million dollars to buy bananas. Delicious, they are!"

She raised an eyebrow. "Not help the poor or the wounded?"

He shrugged again. "Poverty is a much complicated socio-political issue, Rose. Mere money can't solve that. It's", he motioned with his hand in a way that resembled an S, he supposed, before he gave up with another shrug. "Jiggery pokery."

She laughed, stealing a chips from his plate. "No grand mansion in every planet?"

He stole a chips from her in return. "What's the point? Never stay at a place anyway."

She pouted. "Nothing for me?"

He grinned. "I would be happy to feed you my bananas."

She burst out laughing just as his eyes widened and his face turned red in realization of what that sounded like. This gob might just be the death of him one day.

"Rose, I-"

She didn't let him finish. "Ta, but I'm happy with just your chips."

He was relieved with how she resumed stealing his chips and let the topic slide without being offended. Rose really was brilliant.

 _"But luxury has never appealed to me, I like simple things, books, being alone, or with somebody who understands."_

It wasn't often that he fell asleep, not even after hours of running, but this time, they had inhaled an alien pollen- completely harmless, but it made one sleep for a full four hours, and he fell asleep on the floor of the console room before he could complete the sentence that was supposed to tell her that Time Lords never fall asleep from the affect of a pollen.

He woke up, four hours later, to see that she was already up, with a smug grin on her face that read "And now you'll hush up about your superior biology." The words that came out of her mouth were teasing, but much kinder. "Sweet dreams?"

He scratched the back of his neck, recalling the dream he had had. No Time War, no Gallifrey. Just a certain stargazing spot in the galaxy that was his favorite, and a certain pink and yellow human in his arms. "Yes", he replied, smiling brightly. "What about you?"

He could tell by the gleam in her eyes that she was up to some mischief. "I had a dream that you and mum were the best of friends."

He groaned, his face in his hands. "Did I ever tell you how glad I am that you're _not_ a soothsayer?

" _After I met you, I started dreaming in colors. And that's saying a lot for someone who's only known what it feels like to live in the dark_."

"You do give second chances."

He blinked in surprise at her sudden words, his hand that was hammering at the console panel coming to a halt midway, with the hammer hanging aimlessly in the air. "What?"

She was studying him with a concentration that was rare. "You gave me a second chance. You let me cook you lunch again."

He couldn't stop his smile. "Anything for you, ma'am."

She still looked utterly confused. "Why?"

He shrugged, resuming his noisy hammering. "You're different."

She smacked him on his arm. "You keep saying that, what does it even mean?"

"Good different or bad different?" He teased, quoting his own brilliant self.

She knew she wasn't getting a straight answer. She wasn't giving one either, she just huffed.

One of these days, maybe, possibly he would kind of sort of tell her. Or maybe not. Did it really need saying? Weren't some magical things woven with actions and thoughts and feelings and moments that couldn't be stripped down to tiny, utterly insignificant words?

" _I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul."_

He knew he shouldn't give her spoilers of her near future, but he figured these were harmless enough. Letting her see that time-space travel movie from 2014 with her favourite actor in it wasn't a big deal, wouldn't change a thing in any timeline. They had watched it together, and then he had told her how much people debated over the ending, and ended up giving his expert opinion on the subject, and she had listened, even though she didn't quite get it.

That's how it grew to become another one of their things- watching movies together, movies yet to be made in her world. At first it was her on the sofa and him on the floor, sitting cross-legged right in front of her and insisting that proximity to TV had nothing to do with eyesight. After a movie marathon, he had dragged himself to the cough to rest his spine, and she had plopped her legs on his lap without warning or permission. He had found out that he rather liked this, and kept this on for a week, holding her hands sometimes when he felt like it and just couldn't resist.

After a while she had starting sitting next to him, and it felt so natural, that neither of them even bothered to acknowledge the fact that they were practically snuggling.

There was only one mistake he had made: He introduced her to the minions, their banana (and potato, to be technical) song, and never heard the end of it.

"Oh my God, you're totally a minion!" She had teased with a sly grin that left him breathless, and then after a while she just had to add salt to the wound. "Oh wait, no, that minion's ginger, you're not."

He pouted, ruffling his hair, as if that action could magically change hair color. He felt like they were two kids bantering over who had the better pencil case. "Well, you're not ginger either, you're blonde. You can't be a minion either. And I'll have you know, Rose Tyler, that my hair is _fantastic_."

She grinned, loving how easily she could get under his skin. He couldn't help but return that smile.

" _The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you_."

There was so much that he could never bring himself to tell her. He wasn't scared of anything that was out there in the Universe wanting to kill him. He knew he could defeat them all and save the day again. What really scared him was acknowledging how much she meant to him, how much he, he... Because everything he ever... was taken from him, always. And he wasn't ready to lose her, not then, not ever.

He looked up at the sky, dying inside at the blunder he had committed by jumping through the one way time window without thinking it through. If anything was to happen to her...

He heard Reinette's footsteps approaching, so graceful and measured, such a perfect contrast to how Rose would run alongside him, her hand in his, steps hasty, and absolutely breathtaking. He wondered if he would ever see her again.

No, he mentally scolded himself. He was going to see her. He was going to go back, some way or the other, no second guessing there. He was going to show her how important she was to him, show her the best of time, even if it scared him to the core.

Yes, get back to Rose Tyler, that he would.

" _'I care', he said in a trembling voice. 'I care so much that I do not know how to tell you without it seeming inconsequential compared to how I feel. Even if I am distant at times and seem as if I do not want to be with you, it is only because this scares me, too_.'"

He really couldn't believe Rose had managed to talk him into letting her go comfort the woman who had just got her son back, while he was left to look after the cat, the one that Rose had adored. Rose couldn't believe that he had ended up having conversations with the cat.

"What did you two talk about?" She asked curiously, even though she wasn't sure if she really wanted to know.

He shrugged. "He was talking about the cat next door. How much he missed her when he was stuck in that painting. How he wouldn't trade her for a world. You know, cat stuff."

"Right", she nodded, a little taken back at how the entire conversation didn't consist of "food-sleep-tail-human slave-food!"

He nodded back, amused at how much he sympathized with a _cat_.

" _The truth is, if I could be with anyone, I'd still choose you_."

"Sit still for one moment, will you?" She snapped, the irritation of not finding what she was looking for amidst the mess she had made in her room with all the clothes scattered everywhere being misdirected towards the Doctor, whose foot was tapping absent-mindedly in rhythm to what was suspiciously close to the theme from Winnie The Pooh.

"Define moment. Do you mean a minute, or a rel, or a klik, or a-"

Her eyes narrowed dangerously. Blimey, the people who called _him_ The Oncoming Storm really needed to meet _her_. "I'll shut up, no more trying to be funny, not a word, or a syllable, or-ouch!"

"You are sitting right on top of it! I want to murder you so much sometimes!" She growled, pushing him on the chest till he shifted and she got the desired thing from under him.

He tugged on his ear sheepishly. "I didn't break it, did I? I can fix it with my sonic, not a problem at all."

"Like you fixed the Tele?" She teased, sitting down next to him with the thing in her lap. She opened it, revealing a set of photos. "This is a photo album, from back when I was a kid."

"Ah, the good old days before the advent of digital cameras and _eye-shot_ \- e-y-e eye, not the other kind, although their products are simply brilliant, in fact- right, right, I'm rambling, alright, photos. Aww, look at you! You were so chubby!" He pointed at a picture of her standing with a brand new teddy bear, one which was now ragged and one of the only things in her room that was in a proper fixed location. "Is that Jackie? Wow, she looks hot. Did I just say that?"

Rose chuckled, not able to believe her ears herself. "Wait till she hears that."

He groaned. "Just kill me here and now, please? I don't want to- ooo, a red bicycle! Is that the one you fell off from and scraped your knees?"

Rose smiled fondly at the memory of the accident and the tears, from when she was just six. And then at the memory of when she had first related the story to him. He had wasted no time in pointing out that he wasn't the _only_ bad driver. "Yeah. That's the one. And here's me and Shareen at the park!" She pointed at another photo, happiness filling her with the memories. "When I miss them, I look at these."

His eyes glazed over with concern. "Do you want to go home?" At her sudden look of surprise, he added hastily, "For a few days, I mean. Visit your mum, hang out with your mates, maybe get me some more of those banana sandwiches?"

She rolled her eyes, not feeling the need to dignify that with a response. "Nobody lives forever. It's why we take photos, make memories. To look back at them and know we're not alone when they are gone. Mum has albums filled with photos of her and dad. They didn't have many years together, but they were happy, and she has enough to carry on."

"Okay?" He asked, suddenly unsure where this was going.

"You won't tell me your birthday, fine, but I got you a gift anyway." She announced, reaching under her pillows, huffing at her misplacement of yet another object, before she finally found it buried under her duvet. She pulled it out and placed it in his lap, no fancy wrapping, knowing fully well how he would mercilessly rip it apart like an impatient little kid and later try to sonic it back together and make origami that would inexplicably explode in the middle of her nap-time.

He blinked.

"It's a photo album. Make memories." She said simply, omitting the "for when I am not here."

A fighting man could never forget the loss of his love, he was sure. And it was terrifying, the prospect of losing it all again. But here she was, offering him a part of her to keep with him forever in such a simple _human_ way. Here she was, holding his hearts in her hands, waiting for the clock to strike twelve and everything to fade, but planning ahead and ready to leave behind a glass shoe for him, one to remember her by, forever.

"When I was a kid, mum said they look down at us from stars." She smiled, bumping her shoulder with his. "Destroyed that illusion, didn't you?"

He smiled, willing himself to not break down and cry in a weak display of emotions. He looked down at the photo album again, at the pink and yellow cover of it- so very her, and noticed the star cut out from a piece of velvet paper and stuck at one corner.

Yes, she was his shining star.

" _Love is giving someone the power to destroy you, but trusting them not to._ "

It never even crossed his mind how much they hugged until they were arrested on a planet for indecent public display of affection. This version of him was so tactile, and being close to her came so naturally, he never even questioned if best mates hugged as often and as tightly as they did.

"Stupid alien gits", Rose muttered under her breathe, wriggling against the restraints on her wrists. "Wonder what they would have done if we had kissed!"

He swallowed hard. Kissing, that would earn execution. Kissing Rose Tyler was almost worth it, if he didn't want to stay alive and keep kissing her, that is.

"I am so mailing them all of Mickey's stash. They would be so scandalized!" She growled.

He eyed her curiously. "You're usually so understanding about the local cultures."

"Not always!"

"I didn't say always, I said usually! I remember how you hated PinnaFolia where the women were confined to houses. Quite right to, too."

She groaned at the memory. "I hope the women are still fighting for their rights. We should go back and check sometime. After we get out of this _bleeding_ place."

He grinned, knowing well that it wouldn't be long till they were released and banished for the next two eons. He vowed to keep his hands to himself when they were free.

Once they were on the TARDIS though, they had ended up hugging. It wasn't his fault, really. Rassilon help anyone on the receiving end of Rose Tyler's tongue in teeth smile.

 _"I had to touch you with my hands... One can't love and do nothing."_

Confessions of a Time Lord who hated domestics #1: Jackie Tyler's tea was the best tea in the Universe.

Confessions of a Time Lord who hated domestics #2: Listening to her speak sometimes made him wonder if that was how people felt when _he_ spoke.

Confessions of a Time Lord who hated domestics #3: Rose Tyler sometimes took unfair advantage of the knowledge that he could never say no to her.

That was how he ended up on Jackie's dining room, sipping on her tea, and listening to her rant about the last bloke that she had dumped.

"I worry about you, Rose", she said, shooting a pointed look in his direction. "All blokes have only one thing in their mind."

He frowned. At this point, whether he admitted it or not, he was more than just a guest who had to nod politely and keep his gob shut, and he wasn't someone capable of doing that anyway. Even though arguing with Jackie was a terrifying prospect, he had to defend his gender. "Absolutely untrue. I'll have you know that at any time I'm thinking of _many_ things- places to go, square root of pie up to twenty decimals, bananas, Alonzo."

Jackie snorted. "Well, you're not a bloke. You're a daft alien!" Then she shot him a Jackie Tyler glare. "Blimey, don't you ever worry about my daughter, doesn't she ever cross your mind?"

He shrugged.

Confessions of a Time Lord who hated domestics #4: He really didn't think he could explain the place Rose held in his mind.

 _"If you ever ask me how many times you've crossed my mind, I would say once. Because you came, and never left."_

So he had managed to get them into trouble yet again. So they were hiding in a small damp room with three other people, the ones they were trying to help.

That did squat to dampen their spirits. They couldn't stop gleefully recounting all the other times they had been in similar situations.

"There was that time on the planet of those cheetah creatures! I thought they were gonna eat us!"

He pouted, fixing her with an accusatory look that she couldn't see in the dark. "You didn't believe me when I said they were vegetarians!"

"I thought you were making that up to comfort me!"

"I don't make up stuff!"

"Oh really? How about the time you told me that the earth once belonged to reptile aliens?"

"Homo Reptilia", he corrected automatically. "It really did!"

"Yeah, right."

"If I wasn't involved in the matter, I would have taken you back in time and shown you."

She snorted. "If you could get the co-ordinates right."

He hissed. "I really _did_ mean to land us here."

The others wondered if this was a thing they did often- playfully bantering in the middle of danger, ignoring everyone and everything else.

" _I swear, when it's just the two of us in this room, nothing else matters."_

The train trip was turning out to be unexpectedly long. Sure, it was a beautiful planet, and he loved the view from the window of their tiny private train, but blimey, even Snailons walked faster than this!

"You're fidgeting." She pointed out, after tolerating him shifting in his place in front of her for a full ten minutes.

He whined. "I'm so bored."

"Me too", she admitted with a sheepish smile. "Go ahead."

Oh, yes. She just gave him the green signal for using the sonic to speed things up. He grinned victoriously, adjusting the settings, half leaning out of the window, and aiming it on the wheels.

He certainly did not expect it to speed up _this_ much. She yelped, tightening her seat belt and clutching on to his hands, squealing in delight at the sudden bumps due to the uneven surface of the planet. The vast stretches of meadows passed by them so fast that they felt like color changing rainbows.

And he realized, yet again, just how glad he was that he met her.

" _It seemed like you could know me. Like you could understand anything I told you. And the more we spoke, I knew why. The same things excited us. The same things concerned us._ "

He loved the way she was enjoying herself on this planet of tiny five inch long humanoid creatures. At first, they had been mistaken as giants and attacked with their tiny arrows which Rose found quite adorable. But they had soon helped build a road and earned the trust of the locals. And now they was sitting and watching the people.

"They are just like us." She observed.

He chuckled. "Oh, yes. Humanoids, them. Loads of similarities with humans."

She laughed. "No, I meant us, you and me." She pointed at a pair at a distance. "Look."

He watched the male adamantly refusing to ask for directions, even when they were blatantly lost, while the female tugged on his hands every time they passed a little shop. Blimey, that really was like them. "We should do people watching more often."

She wasn't sure. "Isn't that kind of creepy in a stalking way?"

"Welllll", he scratched the back of his neck, uncertain how to counter that. But it sure felt good to watch these happy little creatures going about their lives blissfully. Almost as good as stargazing felt.

And every now and then, he would steal glances at Rose, watch curiosity light up her eyes, and a smile lift up the corners of her mouth, and honestly, he needed to do _that_ more often.

He frowned when he felt her tense, following her gaze. Apparently, the pair had found their way, and were entering a teeny-tiny house, carpets and doors and all.

For the first time in forever, domestics didn't seem that bad. Not that bad at all.

" _But to come home each night. And be so deeply understood by you would be the greatest gift of my life_."

"I was just thinking."

She shot him a deadly glare. "If it's about turning my hair dryer into a fan for the time rotor, then the answer is still no. Use yours!"

He gasped in indignation. "I do not have a hair dryer!"

She couldn't hide her grin. "White. Old. Has ink stains on it and a sticky note stuck to it. Rule of time travel, don't lie to your companion, she always knows what's in the ship."

He hoped the glare he shot her matched hers, even though her response was to just grin wider at her victory. " _I was just thinking_ ", he began again, "I never thought I'd meet you."

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, well, I never thought I'd meet the Queen, get in line, mate!"

He shook his head. "No, not like that!" He took a few steps to stand closer to her. "I am a nine hundred years old alien from Gallifrey. You're a nineteen year old girl from Earth. In all my nineteen years, I never knew there was a girl called Rose Tyler in my future whom I'd-" He paused then, risking a glance at her eyes, which was a mistake, because they were shining with happiness. He cleared his throat, decidedly breaking the moment. "What are the odds, right? If you weren't working at Henrik's, maybe we never would have even met."

He could tell that she wanted to say something but was holding back. He quirked up eyebrow, waiting.

"Or maybe we were meant to meet, some way or the other?"

He grinned brightly. "Ah, fixed point in time, huh?"

She laughed. "The stuff of legends."

" _Maybe she'd always been there. Maybe strangers enter your heart first and then you spend the rest of your life searching for them_."

They never talked about the elephant in the room. Rose Tyler could make him spill his hearts out to her, except that one subject that was just too painful- his future after she was gone. He would never talk about that. And she didn't either. He wondered if she too was happy to live in blissful denial of the inevitable that was growing closer every day.

But she did arm him with memories, subtle words of consolation here, not-so-subtle suggestions there- she did want to make sure that he would be alright when she was gone.

"Time, Doctor, is relative. It's a matter of when." She began during a visit to a planet that had turned out to be disappointingly uneventful.

He huffed. "You're lecturing about _time_ to a _Time_ Lord?"

She ignored him and continued. "500 BC, and Napoléon hasn't even been born. 5000 AD and he's long dead. But he's alive, somewhere in between. He's always alive. Everyone is. Always."

Oh, he knew what she she meant. Lord of Time, with time at the tip of his fingers, he knew she would be there, somewhere, some- _when_ , even when she wasn't with him anymore. And she would be happy, whenever she was. She would always be there, always a part of him.

He could feel her love, and he knew she could feel his fear and his lingering sadness. He squeezed her hand that was in his in gratitude. And also to reassure himself that the time for thinking along those times hadn't arrived yet. "You sound just like me!" He grinned, half proud to get her to talk like him, and half amused at how annoying he must sound to some creatures. Then he frowned. "Hold on, why Napoleon, of all of time and space?"

Her grin was sheepish. "It's the only history lesson I paid attention to at school."

" _He felt now that he was not simply close to her, but that he did not know where he ended and she began_."

It wasn't a surprise that neither of them could fall sleep, with the black hole looming nearby, the TARDIS still lost, and their future so uncertain. What surprised him was the unusual silence they had fallen into, holding on to each other in the tiny bed, his grip tight, like she would fade away any moment. He could tell she was scared too, by the way her arms around his neck tightened, and she buried her face deeper into his chest. She knew he had a plan, a dangerous one, and she knew she wouldn't be able to stop him.

"Rose?" He mumbled around her shoulder, and was greeted with a muffled "Hmmpf?"

"Do you think we can skip the carpets? Wooden floors are brilliant."

"Marble." she mumbled again.

"But marble floors are slippery!" He whined. "And cold! Can't walk around barefoot in them!"

"Marble, pink", she repeated with more conviction.

He pouted, and then sighed, at how they were both desperately trying to pretend everything was going to be alright.

Maybe that was true? Maybe it would all be okay? Holding her in his arms, he sure thought so. If Superman's symbol of hope was the S on his chest, his was the pink and yellow human in his arms. And he would make sure she would be alright. Yes, that he would.

" _When we hold each other in the darkness, it doesn't make the darkness go away. The bad things are still out there - but for just a moment or two the darkness doesn't seem so bad_."

He couldn't believe they had both made it out of that impossible planet alive. No matter what the monster in the pit said, he wasn't going to lose her, he wasn't going to let anything hurt her.

"The stuff of legends", he said, hitting the lever the sent them whirling through time and space, and she laughed, and really, seeing her laughing was his favorite thing in the universe, as it should be.

" _I don't know if love is a feeling. Sometimes I think it's a matter of seeing. Seeing you."_

He hated it when she was away, not just because he was bored with nothing to do but rewire the TARDIS, but also because a nagging part of him kept reminding him that something vital to his existence was missing.

He used to think that each regeneration was a new life, and she was "the love of his life" for this ninth as well as current selves. His future selves too, if he took an educated guess. Rose Tyler was a drug that never left your system, superior biology be damned.

But each time she was away, he felt a very familiar longing, one which he had felt all his life. He almost felt incomplete. Sure, he loved his family, his parents and his children- always had, always would. Sure, there was an understanding between him and his wife, even though they were arranged marriaged, following the ever consuming Gallifreyan tradition. But he had never felt this kind of kinship before, the one he felt for a certain precious girl.

He counted down the minutes till she would wake up, trying to take comfort in the fact that she was just sleeping, and that too in his TARDIS. She was safe, and with him. But every time she was out of his sight, it felt like the whole of time and space came crashing down on him. Like it did all his life.

" _I waited for you. All these years I watched and waited, knowing, somehow, that what we would have would be different_."

He had just finished telling her the story of how he had failed the test for flying the TARDIS for the third time, and she was rolling on the console floor with laughter.

"Some things never change, huh? You're still a horrible driver." She teased.

He huffed. "You're one to talk. How many speeding tickets do you have? And you don't even _have_ a car! If you had a car, I'd have had to rush to earth to save people from you _daily_! Blimey!"

He offered her his hand, and she took it, getting up from the floor, all the while fixing him with a glare.

"Like you were _soooo_ good with Bessie!" She shot back.

"Fair enough." He mumbled, looking away.

Talking about Gallifrey and the past still hurt. But beneath the hurt, there was a tiny tinge of closure that pouring his heart out to her granted him. It was so easy, so natural to tell her about the good things in life lost to time and war, the things that haunted him. He never spoke of family or friends, but there were plenty stories about this and that to keep him reminiscing. He wondered why he wasn't feeling broken and lost.

Then he looked down and noticed that she hadn't let go of his hand.

 _"You scare me, he said. Why? She asked. Because I tell you things I can't even tell myself."_

A storm was coming, and he was terrified. He wasn't ready to lose her. He wanted to scream and to sulk and to laugh bitterly, and sometimes all at the same time.

But he couldn't. Because her happiness was infectious. It made him almost believe that nothing could ever tear them apart. At least that's how he felt on their way to Jackie's flat, skipping and laughing and talking, hand helds tightly. This was ever everything he wanted from life. Was this too much to ask for?

" _He held her hand. Happiness is this, he thought."_

 **A/N: Hope you liked it! Banana pancakes to all those who read/reviewed/faved :D**


	3. Their forever

**Warning: Post-doomsday angst!**

A single drop of two parts hydrogen and one part oxygen, laced with a little amount of potassium chloride- that was nowhere close to expressing the loss he had suffered- the loss of Rose Tyler, his Rose, his best friend, his undefined definition of happiness. The soft mournful hum of the TARDIS, the dying breathe of a supernova, the haunting beats of two weary hearts, and the echoes of the cadence of her breathe in his vast lonely empty ship- that was all he could feel anymore in the whole of space and time. All that was left to tie him to humanity, to kindness, to _life_ , was a room at the end of the corridor that we vowed never to enter again- complete with the few photographs that he had collected from her tiny apartment before the government declared her dead and seized the property and snatched from his reach all the memories of the moments they once shared there that made him grateful for domestics for once in his life, the pink fluffy pillows that still smelt like her- strawberry and sweat and innocence- and had caught his tears the way she would have had she still been there, a few items of clothing scattered on the floor without a pink and yellow human with golden locks to wear them and look like the brightest star across the galaxies- one such purple jumper currently in the console room with him.

That was what life without Rose Tyler was going to be like- virtually time locked in the past while the future raced past him till the end of time.

 _"I loved you like a man loves a woman he never touches, only writes to, keeps little photographs of."_

No. She could not believe that he would just give up on her, on _them_ , at the blink of an eye and the press of a button on a certain yellow disc. He was the most brilliant man in the Universe, and he would find a way back to her like he always did. That's who they were- the stuff of legends. He was going to come back. He always did, he always would. Yes, he would.

"Alright, Jake, fire up the Dimension Canon again."

" _Rose_."

She was tired of the exasperation and the pity she could hear in their voices, that only increased in intensity with each failed attempt at making the jump across the universes. The dimension canon was going to work, she would make sure it did, no matter what it took, no matter how many aliens she had to interrogate and how many books she had to read. She was going to do it. She believed in herself, just like he did, and they couldn't be both wrong.

"I'm ready."

Commands were shouted, buttons pressed hastily on machines, fingers typed out instructions on the super computers, the beam of light focused on her.

And nothing.

With the disc clutched close to her chest, its taunting uselessness burning into the walls of her frozen heart, her eyelashes fluttered shut to hold back the tear that was threatening to fall. With her eyes closed, she could see him, smiling, holding his arms out for her, wriggling his fingers, licking a wall, raising an eyebrow. And yet, time was taking its toll on the details with each day that passed her by, erasing her memory of which shoes she wore on their first trip to New Earth, or how the corners of his eyes wrinkled when he was sad or how his voice sounded when her mother was being particularly questioning. Images fading slowly like a water-color painting dipped into the vast cruel oceans and at the mercy of the treacherous waves, universes sealed and Rose Tyler trapped on the wrong side of the void- this was not how it should have been.

He would come back. He had to. He had to.

 _"Come back! Even as a shadow, even as a dream!"_

The eclipse of Karhoon's purple sun was one of the most exquisite sights he had ever seen, and no matter how many times he saw it, it always invoked a sense of deep awe inside his very being- beauty and danger painted perfectly in a crimson sky. "Remember the last time we came here, Rose?"

Oh.

Two seconds later he remembered that she wasn't there, and he was talking to himself, again. A small, irrational, rebellious part of him that dared to dream, to believe the universe was capable of surprising him with miracles and impossible feats, always felt that she could hear him, wherever he was, however she was. No, he decided swiftly, she was happy, she had to be. Rose Tyler, defender of the earth, he was so proud of her. He couldn't see her, or hear her, but he was certain that she knew, that if she could still dream, she would find herself with him again every now and then.

And he could dream too, with his eyes wide open, with the ghost of the past holding his hand, and having a conversation with himself. "You had fish and chips while watching that. I had bananas." A smile tugged at his lips at the memory of her gasps, her questions, her amazement at the sight in front of them. He could see the world through her eyes in a way he had never seen before- it was more hopeful, more alive, than it had ever been. _He_ was more hopeful and more alive than he had ever been, with a hand to hold and a friend to share a companionable life with. "It was a good day, wasn't it?"

He was answered by only the silence and a reluctant moon leaving the sun with a whine.

 _"I missed you every hour. And you know what the worst part was? It caught me completely by surprise. I'd catch myself just walking around to find you, not for any reason, just out of habit, because I'd seen_ _something_ _that I_ _wanted_ _to tell you about or because I wanted to hear your voice. And then I'd realize that you weren't there anymore, and every time, every single time, it was like having the wind knocked out of me."_

There was this blonde brilliant woman, John Smith was sure of it. He didn't know who she was, or what she meant to him, but he knew she had been the most important thing in his life somehow- his salvation, and his punishment, molded into one entity, and embedded deep inside his heart. Matron Joan Redfern reminded him of her a bit-brave and compassinate and something that tugged at the strings of his soul.

But she wasn't quite that girl, and he missed her every day, this woman, this precious creature that he could not even remember. He would wake up with the words "Bad wolf" echoing in his head sometimes, a vague sound of laughter that seemed sweeter than the songs of nightingales, and his heart would clench like it was missing something indispensible.

He was missing something indispensible, even if he didn't know what it was.

 _"You want the sad truth? Even if I forget you, I'll always miss you."_

A perfect Rose. With fluttering eyelashes that made his heart melt and tempting clothes that were scandalous for that century. _His_ Rose. No matter how many times he dreamt of her and how hard he tried to capture her image in paper and ink, her elusive beauty always evaded him.

He dreamt of her every night, in the blue box with the mad man in the leather jacket, with robots and green monsters and human-like plastic toys - and with him, hand in hand, arms in arms, or locked in long embraces that were never quite long enough. "How long will you stay with me?" He had asked, and she had said "Forever" in response- one simple word that made him feel so connected to the atoms of her being.

And yet, he woke up every morning to his cold, empty bed, with his journal of impossible things mocking him from its place on the night stand. He wondered if that was the day he would stumble upon her, if she would mysteriously come to life and come to him. But as the days wore on and there was no trace of her, it became clearer that his life wasn't an impossible fairytale like it seemed in his dreams.

A perfect Rose. He did not know who she was or how he knew her, or if she was even real to begin with, which he doubted sometimes, because she was far too brilliant and far too fantastic to be true, to be more than a figment of his imagination that dwelled in his vivid dreams. But he knew he loved her, whoever she was, wherever she was. And he would always take her hand and tell her to run. They would run through impossible places- never ending stairs, bridges between stars, a land made of stones, and he would feel so happy.

 _"You know that place between sleep and awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I'll always love you. That's where I'll be waiting."_

He was afraid to look behind him, afraid it was another dream, or The Flesh, or The Autons, or some other cruel trick of the Universe that was trying to give him hope and take it all away yet again. Because, it was just not possible that he would meet Rose Tyler in this life again outside of the rare few vulnerable hours of sleep.

Eyes wide and captivated by the smile on her face, an ever-familiar smile that he had memorized and thought he would never be at the receiving end of again, he was aware of every micro-second passing by, till his legs caught up with his brain and he started running.

Stars were going out, Daleks were everywhere, planets were missing, the universe was ending, and he was here with his Rose. He should have known that he would always come running back to her in the end.

 _"If you think of someone enough, you're sure to meet them again."_

Bad Wolf Bay was the definition of mixed emotions for him. On one hand, he had saved the world and offered his Rose a normal, happy life alongside her family and the other him. And on the other hand, he had to watch her soft lips caress those of the one who was him, but not him.

And he had to walk away. From her. Again.

He never thought it could be so fulfilling and exhausting and soul-crushing and heart-warming, all at the same time. He never knew if he could get over these feelings. But he knew one thing with the utmost clarity- he would love her, forever. Hers was the first face this face had seen, and before it was time to say goodbye to it, he would go back and meet her, so that hers would be the last face he saw as well. He would see her again. Until then.

Until then.

 _"I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday."_

Thirty five years gone, and this Universe still felt wrong, the human body still felt lacking, and the only thing that made him feel complete was Rose. Rose Marion Tyler- Smith. Lighting up the Bad Wolf Bay with every smile and every wrinkle on her face after all these years. They both knew what was coming, and he knew he couldn't run from it anymore. "Rose, I need to tell you something, before it's too late."

She plucked a strand of grey hair from his scalp just to make him yelp. "Don't be daft, you're not dying, I'm not killing you. Don't fancy a trip to the jail at this age, thank you very much."

She had picked up his distraction tactics rather perfectly over the years. But he couldn't stop, not at that moment. It felt like a fixed point in time, and he needed to say it. "This is serious, please."

She looked him straight in the eye. The waves made a rumbling sound, like a siren from a far away star, screeching out a warning to her, and she knew everything was about to change. "You're going to tell me something that you should have told me years back and hope that I don't hate you for it, yeah?"

A wave crashed against the soles of their feet, getting their converses drenched, and he could feel the sand receding from under his feet in the silence that followed between his response. "Yeah."

She took his hand then, tracing her finger along the ring. "We've been married for thirty years. I already hate you, ha, too late!"

He couldn't do it if she was being so her. "If you're done being cheeky..."

Two more waves- hello, goodbye, hello, goodbye, she could hear them speaking to her. The roar of the water and the wail of the wind. Her eyes grew misty. "Yes." Another wave, and she couldn't bear his proximity that seemed to melt his like a wax doll. She turned to face the ocean, challenging it to swallow her up if it dared. It didn't, it only kept caressing their feet. "I've wondered why you... _he_ left us here. Sometimes. In the beginning, I mean. I knew if we were both human, we could have just travelled with him till we died. That wasn't the whole reason for leaving us in another universe. Figured that out a long time back."

He sat down on the sand, writing their names down in Galifreyan, imprinting their existence on this place till it was erased, as all things are eventually. "Blimey, you know me too well. All these years and you never asked?"

She shook her head, unsure if she knew how to answer, unsure if she wanted to know. Her eyes traced the weakening sun that was crawling towards the horizon. He had taken her to watch the eclipse on Karhoon once, the purple sun in the crimson sky looking threatening and captivating. If words could be painted across the sky at the moment, she was sure what was to come would look the same way.

"He..." The words died on his lips, and once again he felt like he could sense the rotation of the earth and the collision of past and present in tiny paradoxes. This was it. "Ood Sigma told him that his song was about to end. He was going to die. He didn't want to lose you again, or to get your hopes up and then have to let you watch him die, or worse, have you try to save him again and in the process-" The rest of that dreadful sentence clung to the edge of the tongue and couldn't make it beyond that. She had taken further steps into the water, and a wave had washed away their names. This was it. "And then the metacrisis happened, and he found his way to give you everything he wanted to give you. And more."

Rose stared at the surroundings of the place where she always had these conversations with him that changed her life. But did things really change? The sun would rise again the next day, the waves would run away from the shore during the next low tide, and the chill in the air would drop when the seasons change. Everything was growing and dying and being born and evolving and, and what mattered was that he was by her side, had been for years now, would be till the end. And it was time to let go of the other him. "Is-is he dead?"

Nine hundred and thirty five years of memories and knowledge, and only one statement from his precious girl seemed perfect as the substitute for an answer that he didn't have. "Time, Rose, is relative. It's a matter of when. 500 BC, and Napoléon hasn't even been born. 5000 AD and he's long dead. But he's alive, somewhere in between. He's always alive. Everyone is. Always."

A Rose Tyler grin against the backdrop of a gorgeous sunset had to be his new favorite thing in the world. "Forever?"

His smile mirrored hers. "Oh yes!"

 **-The end-**

 **A/N: That's it! It's over! Thank you for the response! Hope you liked this! Please review! If you liked this, check out my other doctor who stories, I write fluff and angst both. :D**


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